Tuesday, August 2, 2011

There are no Words

How to I put to paper, how do I find the words for those moments in time, for which there are no words? Those moments of bliss so pure it shines; those moments so painful even tears refuse to flow, how do I get the words to? The epic battle; the death of a lover, dear friend, or blood; the birth of the one you know you will give your life for; these moments that even life cannot seem to find the perfect performance for, how do I tell my characters how to react?

I liken writers to gods for the ability to make a moment reality. Maybe that is the reason why we as humans cannot comprehend these moments, because even gods have trouble. This goes beyond what these highest quality computers of the human mind. These are the defining moments of what and who we are and yet, I fumble for proper production and description.

Is the lighting correct? Did I make note of the subtle tilt of brow and squeeze of fingertips in hand? Does the scent of the moment really express the emotion elicited by it? This is so easy when it is so unimportant. Does any description really matter?

Does anyone really care that the sun was a pink disc in the deepening sky as the last light of life left the pale grey eyes of the soldier dying in the arms of his brother in arms? In the same moment, that pink disc could be peering over the embracing of two hearts that traveled through space and time, and trials and finally close their eyes and press lips and bodies so that no space is allowed between them ever again. That pink disc and deep purple sky means something completely different beyond the window of a hospital room. A first time father kisses the forehead of his wife who looks to him the most beautiful she ever has, even with her hair and skin still glistening from the stress of bringing their child – a perfect pink bundle of their love – into the world and cradled in her arms.

What if the things I describe no matter how varied, are not at all the things the character in the moment even took notice? In moments so life changing, emotion casts a curtain around the most important and casts all else outside, into darkness. The fading grey eyes of the soldier or the final grip of dying hand. The touch of lips and brush of eyelashes between the lovers as they kiss; the bright eyes of a new soul and the smoothness of his wife’s hair; and still, these are description from only one side and only on the surface of the character’s experience.

Should I mention the favorite song the characters bonded through? If it is a song the reader recognizes will the music do the work that the words could not? Am I cheating if I do and it does? I listen to soundtracks for my writing all the time. It does not mean the reader will feel what I felt when I wrote the words. In dance, I try to create a sequence of body movements that tell the observer the story of the music. When I teach these movements to others, I watch as they struggle to comprehend why this goes together. They do not hear the same story I did. Why should I think, as a writer, it would be any different. Describing the twist, drop, turn of a dancer’s hip to the rhythm of a drum only I can hear.

How does a weaver of words describe the moments in the tapestry of life when there is not a thread of understanding? Where are the words for moments that leave us speechless?

Love, it is a word

We cannot describe in words

And, still writers try.

Death, it is a phase

Human souls cannot escape

Nor full understand.

War, it is a choice

Instinct causes us to make

Through all it takes,

Birth, of a new life

First sobbing breaths of a soul

Take the breath away.

It is a human

Condition that gods cannot

Ever understand.

Word Count!

I mentioned the contracts and weekly goals for the studio writing group. Half of my contract for this week is editing, ten pages per day, everyday. It is day two and I am doing really well. It is basic first run editing to the Mac Grabes detective story. Grammar, structure, spelling errors the spell check kindly glosses over; this is the easy stuff. As I mentioned in the editing diatribe, I hate editing, I am mediocre at the laws of English 101, and I drag the process out really tediously. So, why then, is the hard part of this week’s contract the writing?

Three thousand words per day, every day; it should be a cake walk. I am a National Novel Writing Month champ ten times over. I doubled the word count requirement in my second year, just for kicks. That count, for one hundred thousand words, is 3,336 if anyone was working on the math. I can do this in my sleep. I used to be able to do this in my sleep at any rate.

This week should be easier for writing on other counts too: I am out of classes for the session, there are no big events this weekend, no work, no school, the house is pretty clean, and my back is out so I am doomed to sit and relax and let the mind wander. Can I think of a single sentence to write for the three novels I should be writing; Max’s Despair, Gato’s Pride or Ecstasy: The Second Wave? Not a single sentence, not one witty retort for dialogue, nothing for description. I think I may be a bit past the whole pirate phase for the moment. It could be because I have so many other novels hanging over me waiting to be published. It could be aggravation with my current publisher or with fellow writers. It could e so many things. Those are all just excuses.

I know I need to keep writing, but did anyone say it had to be exclusively novel writing that makes that word count? So, I fall back on the blogging. I neglected this blog and other quite a bit. I used to have a very steady blog on Livejournal.com. I used to update my azcorsair.ning.com page. I kept the myspace.com blog rolling too. What happened? Was it Facebook, Twitter? I used to have nearly as many associates on blogs that I now have on Social Networking sites. The posts were much more than one sentence, typically. I will not deny the handful of blogs that were used for cryptic one liners meant to invoke a high volume text based pity party. The new sites are far worst in that department too though. One rarely reads more than a four sentence paragraph nor writes any more than. What have we become?

When working on a story the hard sell at the onset that reels in the reader and pulls them through to the end is often expressed as more important that the ending! A writer used to have a few pages to prove the story was a good catch. Now, fifty words; a page; the first paragraph? What does it take and how soon does the writer want the body? The most common critique of Blackstrap’s Ecstasy - my first published book and first in the Corsair series - is that it started out slow. I will not deny that and I will make conscious effort to avoid the same mistake in subsequent novels. There is something to be said for the style though. It has changes.

Before the age of television, fast-paced films, computer generated action, and give it to me now entertainment ideals, people read books and took time to get into a story. I am not in anyway saying I am any different, mind, but it is very true. Pick up a book from fifty to one hundred years ago. The story takes time to draw the reader in, to let him get to know the characters and the world he is about to enter into. It is a vacation, not a step into a war zone.

Is it better or worse though? Do we need to have a more bang in the book sort of ideal now? Should we return to the, dare I say it, good old days? With some stories, I think so. The pirate stories are among them for me. I am writing about a less fast paced time, about people who enjoyed the long telling of a good tale. When I write these stories I want to give the feeling it is told by a pirate, a sailor who has been there. Other stories beg for something very different.

I would never tell the Hell’s Belles stories with so much time on tedious details. They enter the scene, they blow something up, they leave. There is not much more to say about the characters or the story beyond the required explosive action.

For the moment my mind is in neither space, so, my three thousand word goal may not make it past 1,667 and it may all be strictly technical. And, today I may not even make it that far. I wish I knew what to do to stay motivated shy of putting a gun to my own head. I do not believe in writer’s block but this is likely the closest feeling to it. Nothing is coming to me on the stories I should work on. I have flashes of stunning ideas though!

I have some of the most obscure dreams! Dreams are great inspiration! I am not one of those false gurus who will tell you the key to success, sell you an idea and ned try it on his own. No, I really do keep a notebook beside by bed. I really do write in that book (three pages) every night, and work out the dream information as fast as possible if I wake with a good one. Writing down a dream can be damn near three thousand words if detailed and drawn up with care and attention to detail. How much of that dream do you want to capture?

Another device I keep by the side of the bed is my Samsung Galaxy S Droid. I will mention here that calling it a phone seems so much like a misnomer. My Droid is pretty shabby as a phone but it has so many options I am rarely on my Netbook anymore. I love to jot down story ideas. Prior to the Droid I was proud owner of a HTC Dash, it wasn’t the most amazing device but it did the job. I wrote one of my latest Science Fiction pieces via MMS messages to my Gmail account as I rode to Payson, AZ for a camping trip. Several thousand words tapped out on a teeny keyboard. Reading some of it back once I returned home was enlightening. It was not the best work I had ever done, but it was pure and in the moment.

We write, and gain inspiration to write in places that might not be the best for writing. How do you cope? The journal, or mobile device, beside the bed; notebooks stashed away in the car, purse, backpack; the napkin at the diner all are great! How about toilet paper? Admit it sitting there, with nowhere to go can be inspiring. I am still working out how to capture those words thought up while in the shower.

Anne Rice, among others, spoke of writing on the walls. If you live in an apartment or lack a space to just leave words hanging about this might not work for you, but I am a huge fan of magnetic poetry, chalkboards and dry erase boards. Even large poster paper or flip boards are great and most office supply stores have them at a decent price.

I am not certain how to keep that word count up for you, but there are a million ideas that I have tried. Some have worked really well others not so much. And, not every idea works all the time. I have felt lately that I need to step away from the technology for a time and get back to the basics. I am in front of a computer so often for work or school or the god awful Social Networking. It sucks the fun out of sitting down to write. The creative stuff, the raw story, it seems to come directly from the ink to the paper, much more readily.

So where are you at in your writing? How many words per day to you put to paper or screen (or wall, or toilet paper, or skin). And, how do you work out the issue of ideas in the shower?